“MENTORrific” Job & Life Coaching for Teens

Mentoring Goes Beyond Professional Development

A recent Google search on the terms “importance professional mentor” gave me almost half a million results. Clearly, professional adults are turning to mentors for guidance on everything from networking skills to improving their performance within their current job.

However, professional adults aren’t the only people who can benefit from good mentoring. Young people from pre-adolescents to those in their late teens frequently need mentors to provide a same-gender role model, an understanding ear — and, yes, help in finding their first (or even second) job.

A Tale of Two Women

In 2000, Paula Dirkes was a successful, single woman with many social connections but not many commitments. Chelsea McKinney was an eleven-year-old girl with a divorced father, three siblings, and no lasting, positive female role models in her life.

Fast-forward through eight years of mentoring and a growing friendship, and now Paula and Chelsea are co-authors of a book that explains the joys of mentoring teenage girls. Chelsea is planning on starting college in January ’09, and Paula has compiled an additional book of stories from adult mentors of teenagers. Chelsea is breaking into the world of full-time work, and Paula is working at marketing their collaboration as a way to help fund Chelsea’s education.

And yes, they are still together at least one evening a week, almost every week of the year.

The Birth of a Mentor

How did it happen? According to Paula, she first heard about then Attorney-General (now Michigan Governor) Jennifer Granholm’s “2000 Mentors in the Year 2000″ plan.

“I ignored the call for a couple months,” Paula says, “worried about everything from whether I could make sufficient time in my schedule to whether or not I even had something worthwhile to contribute to a teenage girl’s life.” Ultimately, Paula joined a circuit court-run mentoring program for at-risk girls and met Chelsea for the first time in April 2001.

“[The program] only asked for a one-year commitment, [but] I enjoyed spending time with her and vice-versa and I just decided it made sense to stay together as long as she wanted,” Paula told me in a recent interview.

“Chelsea had been missing a consistent positive female role model in her family and I’d seen the impact of her mother leaving town after the divorce. Then her dad remarried, that relationship fell apart, and all the girlfriend relationships in between those marriages –- each one that didn’t last was a loss for the kids as well.”

What a Mentor Is – and Isn’t

Mentors are not job coaches, though they can be extremely helpful in that role. Nor are they counselors, surrogate parents or teachers. While professional mentors help adults grow their careers, mentors who work with youth are adults who have committed a regular, small portion of their time to be an adolescent’s ear, shoulder, and a part of the adolescent’s support system.

You don’t have to let your mentee move in with you, nor do you have to sign in blood for the rest of your life. The main requirements are dependability and an ability to hear whatever your mentee needs to tell you without being too judgmental.

Coaching Teens on the Job Hunt – the Mentor’s Role

As they got to know each other, Paula and Chelsea shared their lives, and Paula was able to be Chelsea’s “ear” and adviser on matters ranging from relating to Chelsea’s father to, yes, Chelsea’s quest for her first “real” job.

Fortunately, Chelsea is a real “go-getter,” so this part of Paula’s mentoring job was fairly easy.

“Chelsea is the second oldest of four kids in her family and so was the babysitter to her two younger brothers – she had a full-time job watching two kids the summer she was thirteen years old,” Paula said. “But when she became fifteen she wanted a “real” employer to validate that she had skills she could offer in a professional setting.

Paula assisted by helping Chelsea with job applications, driving her to potential employers, and giving her advice about what to do when Chelsea walked in the door.

In addition, “Someone had already taught her that when you approach a potential employer you introduce yourself and shake their hand – it was [already] her standard approach.” Paula helped Chelsea nurture her existing positive job-searching skills while introducing her, for example, to the importance of always writing and sending a thank-you note after meeting with a potential employer.” They’ve all responded very well when she has done that,” Paula said.

Transferable Skills and Teens

Paula advised Chelsea, and she advises all teenagers, to think about the skills they already have that can easily transfer to the workplace.

“They have to think about what they’ve done at home, at school, and/or in volunteer roles that transfer well to an employment setting,” she said.

For example, as a babysitter (whether at home or for others), “Chelsea was reliable and punctual,” Paula said, “[And] she provided very good customer service to multiple, unique clients. She had to deal with the mother, the father, the child, any older siblings — even the dog.”

In addition, “Chelsea was detail-oriented and had good follow-through; she’d get in contact to confirm the schedule, [or] if she was at the mall and saw something a parent needed she’d call to see if the parent wanted Chelsea to pick it up.”

Paula says that, “All job seekers of any age need to see how their existing skills and abilities can help them… they need to look at the job environment and see what skills and abilities they have that would blend in with that job environment –- if they present themselves with those skills and abilities, they will present themselves as the problem-solver for that employer.”

“In my opinion it’s easy for a teenager to set themselves up as an exceptional job applicant or candidate because there’s so many teenagers that don’t have a clue. If you just set yourself apart by smiling, shaking hands and introducing yourself, you’ve made the potential employer’s day,” Paula said.

Mentoring Boys Into Employable Men

While Paula has not specifically mentored teenage boys, she says: “I feel that any young person entering the job market needs a knowledgeable adult to support them, walk them through the steps –- not do it for them, but be there. … personal involvement really helps and empowers young people to feel more confident” when looking for that first or second job.

The E-Books

Here are some of the many topics covered by Paula and Chelsea’s e-book, MENTORrific Women! Taking a Girl Under Your Wing:

11 Reasons To Mentor

How To Make Time For Mentoring: Re-Prioritization, Flexibility And Thinking Differently

How To Be A Marvelous Mentor

The Early Years – Bullies and Choices

[The]Mentor As Job ‘Cheerleader’

Money – Keeping It In Perspective

Getting Men Into Mentoring

Paula’s solo effort, MENTORrific Success Stories, shares the personal stories of adult male and female mentors who have been able to make many differences in young people’s lives, from helping them make good personal decisions to helping them find their first job.

Help Yourself, Help a Young Person, Help Chelsea

Paula says that she’s looking forward to covering her expenses for producing these two ebooks so that she can start helping Chelsea finance her college education. Chelsea, who volunteered helping with special needs students in high school, wants to be a special education teacher and thus needs a degree.

“I’ve told her I’m committed to making that happen, but there’s a lot of unknowns between where we are today and where we’re going. … I’d really like to follow through on that commitment sooner rather than later,” Paula said.

For more information or to order one or both e-books and perhaps take that first step toward mentoring a teen, visit the MENTORrific Women Website.

While the books are only available in an electronic format at this time, Paula’s plans include recording them as audio books and eventually coming out with print editions.

Interested in hearing about the joys and challenges of mentoring, and/or how a youth mentor can help a young person with that all-important first job search? Paula is available to speak on these topics and more. Contact her at: info@mentorrificwomen.com

Mentoring resources

Now that you’re excited about the prospects of being a mentor, finding a mentor for your child or a professional mentor for yourself, the following resources will help you get started:

Youth Mentoring